You may be a new Christian. Maybe you have been a Christian for years. You believe the Bible. You love Jesus Christ. You attend church regularly. But you often don’t feel like you belong. You get the sense that if you were to suddenly drop out, no one would notice, that if times got tough, no one would show up. Sermons seem more like pep talks than serious efforts to plumb the profound depths of scripture. They don’t draw you towards Christ. Small groups and Bible studies promote the teachings of populist Christian authors and speakers rather than focusing on the Word of God. Christians are absorbed in the constant quest to enrich their own spiritual experience rather than deepen their knowledge of Christ.
If you feel this way, you are not alone. There are a growing number of people who are experiencing a gnawing sense of dissatisfaction with the corporate life of the body of Christ. I was raised in the church. Superficial faith was all I ever knew. I had little interest in sharing my faith, though I knew I should. I simply didn’t have a love for the Lord that compelled me to talk about Him. I even served eight years as a missionary, but I was more focused on ‘ministry’ than following Christ.
Then my world fell apart. I lost my family, my job, and my emotional health. First I turned to my Christian family for help. They betrayed me. Then I approached the church. They abandoned me. So I left the church. Only when I began listening to the uncompromising preaching of God’s Word on Christian radio many years later did the Holy Spirit begin to genuinely change my life. I learned how to forgive. I was able to accept forgiveness from God. I developed an insatiable hunger for God’s Word. The Holy Spirit began to show me how shallow my faith had been and how little return Jesus had received on His investment in me. I gained a new passion for the lost and a new boldness for sharing my faith. I began to see things more from God’s perspective. This opened up a whole new world of meaning as I read the Bible. And I developed a deep-seated dissatisfaction with what passes for preaching, worship and fellowship in the contemporary Christian Church. This blog is a chronicle of my spiritual odyssey and compilation of my reflections on the Christian experience in the modern American church.